When a New Baby is Born
A new baby in the family is such an exciting time, it brings with it all sorts of emotions. It is totally normal for an older sibling to respond with mixed emotions, excitement, happiness, but do not worry if you also see signs of jealousy, anger, resentment and sadness. These more negative emotions tend to happen when all of a sudden, this new, ultra cute, tiny wee bundle is going to take up what seems like ALL of your time and you can't do the things that you used to do together. Sibling rivalry is not always a bad thing, it teaches the older child all sorts of social skills and life lessons. They start to realise that the world does not always revolve around them, it teaches your child how to share, they learn how to become patient and it enables them to experience and talk about new emotions that they might not have felt before. We all know that ALL emotions are ok as human beings are emotive creatures. Your older sibling may become more caring and they may learn negotiation tactics whilst trying to bid for your time. They could also become tearful, behaviour could regress, they may want to wear a nappy, drink from a bottle, speak in a baby voice - this is all quite normal. They are trying to be a baby again as they want more of your attention. If this should happen, try to use empathy with them and understand how they are feeling, talk with them about when they were a baby and all you had to do for them, talk with them about when you were a baby and how Granny/Grandad had to do everything for you so that they realise that everyone has needed that level of care from their parents at some point in their lives.
Let your child feel the baby kicking in your tummy. Ask your child to sing to your bump and read stories to them and give them updates on how big the baby is, comparing it to an object that they know.
Prepare your child before the baby comes along - if they have a life size doll, let them practice looking after a pretend baby, changing nappies, feeding and bathing the doll. Let your older sibling be a part of buying new things for the baby, let them draw a picture for the baby that can be framed and put on the wall near the baby's cot. Let them get a present for the new baby of their choice, have a present for the baby to give them the first time they meet. Tell your child what will happen when it is time for the baby to be born, who will be looking after them when you go into hospital - the more knowledge they have the easier it will be.
When baby comes home, the routine will change, allow the older sibling to help with bath time, nappy changing, feeding etc. Let them continue to read stories and sing songs to their new baby brother or sister. Most importantly, make sure that you still find time to play games, read books, go to the park etc with the older siblings so that they don't feel like their lives have completely changed. Let them know that their little baby sibling, will one day be as big as them and not totally dependent on someone else to do everything for them.
And finally, our positive thought of the week:
Having a new baby is like getting a ready made best friend, you will always be there for each other.
If you have a parenting concern, you can contact Mrs Easty via the school office - admin@burlingtoni.org.uk